So, I went to the doctor yesterday. It was supposed to be a follow up for my depression meds.
I have been having some lower left pelvic pain, so I told my doctor. She asked some questions...blah blah blah. She said that she thinks it is ovarian cysts. So, a pelvic exam was in order to rule out any other problems.
I have never had a pelvic exam before. I was quite scared. With my past, I was worried how I would handle it.
Thankfully, my doctor knows of my past and she is very understanding. She is just wonderful!
So, the exam begins. It was the worst thing ever! I have never been so uncomfortable and in that much pain from any type of physical exam! So, not only was I in some pain from the exam because I couldn't relax, but there was also the pain that I have been feeling before the exam even began!
To add to all of that I was feeling so many different emotions. My doctor apologized a million times for having to do that (love her). I was just so uncomfortable and feeling so many things that I can't even begin to describe!
So, it was finished and I went to sit up and I nearly passed out. My doctor asked if I was okay, and I said that I felt like I was going to pass out, so she had me lay back down and got me some water. I just don't think my body or my mind was ready for something like that. I feel so embarrassed that I handled it so poorly. I should be stronger than that.
Even though I do feel ashamed of myself, I am slightly proud. I got through it. I survived one more obstacle in this whole thing! I hope that this story is inspirational for someone. I waited a month before going to the doctor because I knew that I was going to have to have a pelvic exam and I didn't want it. It shouldn't be that way. I need to take care of my body.
I am strong and this is proof that I am surviving. :)