Tuesday, January 10, 2012

My Relationship With God

I have been thinking a lot lately about my relationship with God.

Here is some of my religious background:

I am Catholic. I was raised Catholic and went to CCD (Sunday school) starting in kindergarten and going through 8th grade. I got confirmed in 9th grade. Since then, I try to go to church every Sunday, but sometimes life gets in the way and I don't go.

Now, I was abused in 10th grade.

For a little while, I nearly gave up believing all together. I just couldn't take the fact that God let something so awful happen to me.

Fast forward to now.

I have learned.

I have grown in my faith.

Thanks to friends and family (no thanks to the priests who refused to help me) I found out more about my faith and my relationship with God.

My friend always reminds me that God never gives his children anymore than they can handle. At first, I was skeptical and thought that if that is true, why did He give me something that I feel I can't handle? Why is He punishing me?

I am certain that those questions are common among the abused who have ever had any sort of relationship with God.

Why me, God? What would make You do something so terrible to one of us?

It hurts to think that. You start to feel that everything that you have been taught about your faith has slipped away and there is no redeeming it.

You have to hold on to it. Do not let your faith slip out of your reach.

You need to think, if God wanted you to die or to keep suffering, the abuse would still be happening. He did not want it to happen. It is all part of His plan. He knows best and you need to be able to put your trust into Him.

Stay strong and keep your faith.

Things really do get better.


Just Be Real said...

Lara, thank you for sharing. I am truly sorry for what happened to you and the pain you carry. Safe hugs.

Lara said...

Thank you! :)