July 2, 2011
I feel okay today. I have had a twinge of sadness though all day. I cleaned all day and to be honest, I think that that was what was keeping the sadness and depression at bay.
I really do think my medicine is working. It kind of baffles me to think that I am suffering from depression and PTSD. That is some intense stuff - and I had no idea. What a crazy and intense process this has been so far, but it is going to get easier. Thank God.
-Lara
Showing posts with label Journal Entries. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Journal Entries. Show all posts
Monday, September 5, 2011
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Journal Entry: Embarrassment
June 7, 2011
I feel embarrassed at everything that happened last night. I feel ashamed and disappointed in myself. I feel this way because I feel that I let myself get out of control last night emotionally. (I kind of lost it...)
I am thinking that is was going to happen eventually, so I guess it is better sooner than later. I think that I should be strong enough to keep it together and to never freak out. This is obviously not the case. No one is that strong.
So, last night I cried on the front porch while sending messages to a friend for support. I needed to be outside for fresh air. I needed some cold air on my face to help keep me grounded.
It was rough.
-Lara
I feel embarrassed at everything that happened last night. I feel ashamed and disappointed in myself. I feel this way because I feel that I let myself get out of control last night emotionally. (I kind of lost it...)
I am thinking that is was going to happen eventually, so I guess it is better sooner than later. I think that I should be strong enough to keep it together and to never freak out. This is obviously not the case. No one is that strong.
So, last night I cried on the front porch while sending messages to a friend for support. I needed to be outside for fresh air. I needed some cold air on my face to help keep me grounded.
It was rough.
-Lara
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Another Journal Entry
June 3, 2011
I feel sad and depressed. I have flashbacks and I absolutely hate them! After they happen I feel smothered. It feels almost as if I can't breathe.
I find that this is very hard for me to write about. It is hard for me to talk about and think about and I wish that none of this ever happened.
-Lara
I feel sad and depressed. I have flashbacks and I absolutely hate them! After they happen I feel smothered. It feels almost as if I can't breathe.
I find that this is very hard for me to write about. It is hard for me to talk about and think about and I wish that none of this ever happened.
-Lara
Monday, July 25, 2011
Source of Sadness
Here is a journal entry that I want to share with you.
June 1, 2011
I feel sad, but hopeful. I feel this because...well, I don't really know. I just do.
I am thinking about what we talked about in counseling today. About how all the things that happened to me make me feel the way I do. I just keep thinking of my anger and sadness.
I was looking through my journal and saw this. It reminds me that the sadness that I have been feeling lately has a source and that it will pass.
It always does.
-Lara
June 1, 2011
I feel sad, but hopeful. I feel this because...well, I don't really know. I just do.
I am thinking about what we talked about in counseling today. About how all the things that happened to me make me feel the way I do. I just keep thinking of my anger and sadness.
I was looking through my journal and saw this. It reminds me that the sadness that I have been feeling lately has a source and that it will pass.
It always does.
-Lara
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Listening
I was looking through my journal a while ago; realizing that I haven't made an entry in a long time.
I then, came to the conclusion that that is because I have been using this blog in journal like ways, therefore taking away my need for a handwritten journal. This is not necessarily true though. I do love my handwritten journal. I feel that I can be more personal in there and actually use names and places and not have to worry about being judged by others reading it.
So, I have decided that I am going to now and then post some of my journal entries. Some will be from the past and some will be from the day I am writing. It all depends on how I feel and what I feel like sharing.
All I ask of you, is to listen and hopefully my journal entries on here will be able to give you as a reader a deeper connection with what I am going through.
So, here is my first entry:
May 21, 2011
I feel angry. I don't feel like anyone at home wants to listen to me. I said that I felt sad and my dad's response was to get over it and that everyone is tired of hearing me say that I am sad. That sadness is now mixed with anger. More anger than sadness now though.
I was thinking that my family should want to listen to my problems and help me feel better.
So, now I am listening to some relaxing music to try and calm down. I am also trying to remind myself that my family loves me, but this is not an easy thing to talk about or even think about.
I then, came to the conclusion that that is because I have been using this blog in journal like ways, therefore taking away my need for a handwritten journal. This is not necessarily true though. I do love my handwritten journal. I feel that I can be more personal in there and actually use names and places and not have to worry about being judged by others reading it.
So, I have decided that I am going to now and then post some of my journal entries. Some will be from the past and some will be from the day I am writing. It all depends on how I feel and what I feel like sharing.
All I ask of you, is to listen and hopefully my journal entries on here will be able to give you as a reader a deeper connection with what I am going through.
So, here is my first entry:
May 21, 2011
I feel angry. I don't feel like anyone at home wants to listen to me. I said that I felt sad and my dad's response was to get over it and that everyone is tired of hearing me say that I am sad. That sadness is now mixed with anger. More anger than sadness now though.
I was thinking that my family should want to listen to my problems and help me feel better.
So, now I am listening to some relaxing music to try and calm down. I am also trying to remind myself that my family loves me, but this is not an easy thing to talk about or even think about.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)