Tuesday, May 14, 2013

I Found Him!

I Found him!

I found the right man for me. Turns out he was right under my nose for the last 3 years of my college career!

We are now "officially" dating. (Whatever that means...) We have been together for nearly a month now.

I have never been happier.

I had no idea that I could love someone so much. It is truly incredible.

What's even more incredible? He loves me back. Yep. He LOVES me. That still sounds odd to say or even read. That someone could LOVE me even with all of my faults.

See, Alan (which is what we will call him), knows about most of my past. He knows that I was abused for a year and a half. I ended up not being able to tell him, I was trying, but my friend told him for me, without me knowing! I wish that I could have been able to tell him, but it really isn't good conversation over dinner and there is no good way to start that kind of conversation.

So, now he knows. As soon as I saw him after he talked to my friend, he pulled me in for a big hug. He whispered to me that everything will be alright and that no matter what, he loves me. I asked him what happened because I was walking back from class and it threw me off a bit. He just looked at me and I knew that he knew. I started crying and he just held me and told me that he loved me and that we will work through it together.

He tells me that everyday. That he loves me. Sometimes multiple times a day. How did I get so lucky?

I found him.

He knows about my abusive past and still wants to be with me and loves me.

What an answer to a prayer! God really is good!

Alan has to be the best thing to have happened to me.

Right now, he is in Spain and I miss him terribly. He just called a few minutes ago. It was so wonderful to hear his voice. He will be back in a week, thank God. I have never missed someone so badly in my life. I will survive this though. They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder. I hope they are right.

Happiness - who knew that I could remember what that feels like...

2 comments:

Janis Hillard said...

I just wanted to say that I appreciate your blog very much. I am also a survivor of rape and assault activist.

Over the years I have come to believe that telling my story and getting involved in assault prevention is key. I also feel that it's time that survivors stand together - not only in community - but against the misconceptions and stigma that are heaped upon us. With that being said, I would like to tell you about my project that I'm working on called Edipus. It's a concert that features all-male performances who's participation is solely in the name of sexual assault. I believe that all men are not rapists nor do they condone it - they just don't know what to do about it or how to get involved with becoming the solution. Ergo, Edipus.

Please check out my personal blog about the movement at : htttp://janishillard.blogspot.com


Cheers,
Janis

Be brave. Be Edipus .
www.edipus.org

Lalita Shrestha said...

Hello there,

You have a really wonderful blog which has clearly inspired and helped a lot of people to move on from sexual violence. I’m sorry if my comment seems out of place but I couldn’t find an option to message you privately. I am a postgraduate student from the UK and I am currently researching the role of blogging for survivors of sexual assault. I would really appreciate it if you could spare a couple of moments to contact me as I am interested in using your blog as part of my research, and would like to provide you with more information. My email address is lalita.shrestha@stu.mmu.ac.uk.

Thank you so much for your time. Have a great day and I wish you all the best in your journey to healing.

Lalita