Storms!

It is currently storming where I live.

I hear rain pelting the glass window, see flashes of lightning, and can hear rumbles of thunder.

It is refreshing in an odd sort of way.

Why, you may ask?

This storm that is washing over the part of the U.S. where I live, reminds me that every once in a while we as humans need a good storm now and then.

We need to be able to feel refreshed and new and be able to take a deep breath and feel cool clean air and not worry.

We need to be able to get through the scary part of the storm and feel the calm renewal that soon follows.

-Lara

When To Probe and When Not To

Your friends and family care about you. I know mine do! So, as you go through this, they are going to want information right from the start or decide when you should tell what happened.

This happened to me. From what I have read from other blogs and heard from other people who have gone through similiar things, you will end up being probed for information sooner or later. It is only a matter of time. You are loved so much by these people and it scares them not to know what happened. It is human nature to automatically think the worst. They are worried and scared for you and your safety.

You need to understand something though - you need to tell who you feel you need or want to tell what happened. As much as you may love these people back, you are not helping anyone by pushing yourself to tell when you are not emotionally ready. If anything, I found that this may cause you to start to hide from people. You may start to hide information, emotions, and anything else that may be of use to get out in the open.

Your family and friends love you, but don't do anything you aren't ready to do!

-Lara

I Am Thankful

I realized today that I have many things to be thankful for. I am very blessed and fortunate to have so many awesome people and things in my life.

Here is my list of things I am thankful for:

• Family
• Friends
• My professors
• The courage I have gained through this process
• A forgiving heart
• God and His presence
• The ability for me to learn when I need help
• Music

Those are only some that I feel especially thankful for today! Only a small portion! I am so blessed!

What are you thankful for today?

-Lara

The Importance of Writing

I learned a very important thing the last couple of days.

It is important to get out in the open what happened. It is hard and no one may really understand, but it has to be done to help yourself.

Your feelings and the facts that happened will not just go away no matter how hard you wish. They won't. Trust me. I tried. You will just feel worse.

I have been doing both telling people and writing it down. It helps me to feel better. Well, actually I feel worse first, but eventually I do feel better.

I am so sorry I have not been on here much. I am back in school and things are just crazy! I will try to write more! :)

-Lara

Journal Entry: Twinge of Sadness

July 2, 2011
I feel okay today. I have had a twinge of sadness though all day. I cleaned all day and to be honest, I think that that was what was keeping the sadness and depression at bay.

I really do think my medicine is working. It kind of baffles me to think that I am suffering from depression and PTSD. That is some intense stuff - and I had no idea. What a crazy and intense process this has been so far, but it is going to get easier. Thank God.

-Lara