Friday, July 6, 2012

What I Want

I can't wait until I'm older.

That must sound silly for a 20 year old lady to be saying.

I can't wait to be 30 and have everything figured out. If everything isn't all figured out, I still feel that by then, I should have most of what I want out of life.

I want to be happy.

For some reason, in my mind, I get so stuck on being happy in my future, that I don't know how to be happy now. I'm trying though.

In my future I picture myself being a high school band director. I will have a family. A kid or two and a husband that loves me more than anyone has ever loved me.

I want to feel that love. I want it to embrace me every day all day. I want to be able to feel that if I mess up, that I will still be loved unconditionally and be told that it is okay.

I want to be told that I am beautiful.

I want to feel beautiful.

I want to be the perfect mommy someday. I want to take care of my children and be the mommy that I never really had.

I want to be the perfect wife. I want to make my husband happy and make it so that he can be proud of me.

I want to be it all. All of these things.

I know that being perfect is not going to happen, but I want to try.

I feel that if I can get all of these things to happen, then I will be happy.

2 comments:

Rhonda said...

I hope that you are able to achieve your goals sweety. I just turned 40 a few months ago and each day is new and different. Keep your chin up and pursue your dreams!

Lara said...

Thank you, Rhonda! I am trying to keep a positive outlook, but it is definitely easier said than done! Thanks for following, too! :)