I have been getting stuck in circles lately.
I have come to the conclusion that as part of being human, getting caught in circles is a common way of living.
I feel that in order to get out of my path of continuing circles, something must change.
I work every day at trying to become a better person. In the beginning it was solely for the purpose of healing. Now, I do it because I like the way it makes me feel. It makes me feel like I am actually doing something to make my life the way I want it to be. I feel more in control.
I have been doing a lot of thinking about what I feel needs to change.
The first thing that came to mind was being more independent. This pertains to my feelings, decisions, and religion. By independent, I mean that I need to think for myself and think about what is going to work for me. This feels selfish to me, but it is what I feel will help me be happy. I can't live other people's lives. I have to live my own.
I am also going around in circles with the abuse. There is no sense of closure about anything to do with it. I am still working on what I can do to help that feeling.
I am only going to be taking baby steps to make these circles a little wider so that it doesn't seem so much like a circle, just a big path. (I hope that makes sense.)