Listening

I was looking through my journal a while ago; realizing that I haven't made an entry in a long time.

I then, came to the conclusion that that is because I have been using this blog in journal like ways, therefore taking away my need for a handwritten journal. This is not necessarily true though. I do love my handwritten journal. I feel that I can be more personal in there and actually use names and places and not have to worry about being judged by others reading it.

So, I have decided that I am going to now and then post some of my journal entries. Some will be from the past and some will be from the day I am writing. It all depends on how I feel and what I feel like sharing.

All I ask of you, is to listen and hopefully my journal entries on here will be able to give you as a reader a deeper connection with what I am going through.

So, here is my first entry:

May 21, 2011
I feel angry. I don't feel like anyone at home wants to listen to me. I said that I felt sad and my dad's response was to get over it and that everyone is tired of hearing me say that I am sad. That sadness is now mixed with anger. More anger than sadness now though.

I was thinking that my family should want to listen to my problems and help me feel better.

So, now I am listening to some relaxing music to try and calm down. I am also trying to remind myself that my family loves me, but this is not an easy thing to talk about or even think about.


So, that was my first entry. I had to follow a format and it was originally called my mood journal, but I took over the journal writing and took away the format. If I am going to write about how I feel, well, I am not going to follow some format. It didn't help anyway. Writing did, but if I have to feel like I am writing an essay, then I don't want to do it.

What do you think?

-Lara