June 7, 2011
I feel embarrassed at everything that happened last night. I feel ashamed and disappointed in myself. I feel this way because I feel that I let myself get out of control last night emotionally. (I kind of lost it...)
I am thinking that is was going to happen eventually, so I guess it is better sooner than later. I think that I should be strong enough to keep it together and to never freak out. This is obviously not the case. No one is that strong.
So, last night I cried on the front porch while sending messages to a friend for support. I needed to be outside for fresh air. I needed some cold air on my face to help keep me grounded.
It was rough.