Saturday, July 23, 2011

Missing the Puppy

So, the last week my sister and I have been watching a wiener dog puppy for our older sister while she was away on vacation.

I love dogs, but this one was a handful.

I didn't think that I was going to miss her so much when she left.

I also forgot to take my meds...for three, I am in a deep dark pit of depression, that's for sure. It isn't like I didn't take them on purpose. I was so busy the last couple of days in the evening and it just slipped my mind.

I feel so sad. I feel like a terrible person. I feel ashamed.

I need a hug. I need someone to hold me and tell me that I am going to be okay. I know that I will be, but it is always nice to hear someone else say it.

I wasn't feeling so crappy until my older sister came to take her dog home. Then, the helpless, hopeless, sad, feelings just ambushed me without a warning.

I feel so very alone.

I want need to cry. I can feel the tears burning my eyes, but they won't come out. It is more painful than actually crying. I thought that crying everyday was the worst thing, but feeling like you need to and not being able to is even worse.

I am going to go and try to go to bed now. I need some sleep and hopefully tomorrow will be better.


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