Saturday, June 25, 2011

The End Is Near (I Hope)

I am waiting for the end.

Not in the way you are probably thinking. I do not mean the end of the world or what have you.

I am waiting for the end of this process. I can not wait for that day to come. I know it really isn't going to just be a day and "ta-da," all better. No, it is going to take a little more time after that, but I think that this whole healing process is well worth the hard work and the pain. I want need to be better. I need to think in healthier ways and be a new normal.
That is one thing I am excited for; making a new normal. My counselor said that we are going to one day after all this is coming to a lovely end, make a new normal for me and define what exactly that means and how that would affect me and those around me.
I was talking to my counselor about how this "ending" is going to happen. She told me that right now my mind is trying to piece everything together like a gigantic puzzle.

My mind has to put everything together and then come to terms with the emotional part as well. Right now my mind is a little behind emotionally when it comes to putting this stuff together. I guess that is why I cry randomly, which isn't so random. I was told that when my mind decides to put everything in place with emotions, that freaking out is a possibility. Great.
It is worth it though. The counselor also told me that the end could come any time. Next week or years from now. It will happen when it is supposed to happen. I just hope that I am ready when it does.
What do you think?


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